Cradle Robbers

Meet Dylan Moses.

He's an 8th grade student in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

Dylan has been offered a scholarship to play for the Alabama Crimson Tide and the LSU Tigers.

Did I mention Dylan's in 8th grade.

What does Dylan's dad think? "I don't think he feels any need to rush his decision."

One more time, Dylan's in 8th grade. That sinking in yet?

There's no need for Dylan Moses to even think about such important life decisions. He's barely a teenager. Dylan needs to learn to drive a car and have a curfew before he thinks about where he's going to play college football.

He's in 8th freakin grade.

Don't do this to me, college football.

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Apple Maps Fails Again

Photo taken in the Midwest.

Vader is going to be so pissed.

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Ann Colter vs. Libertarians: A Fight to the Death

This woman.

I swear, I'd rather stab a hot poker in my eye.

Her bullshit rhetoric is one reason I distanced myself from conservatives, and now consider myself a Libertarian. Listening to her makes me throw up in my mouth. I'm gonna go brush my teeth now.

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Cliff Notes On The Craft: Volume 4

Welcome to the fourth volume of Cliff Notes.

Hope you've enjoyed reading them as much as I've enjoyed scouring the Internet for them.

As always you can check out Brain Pickings and Advice To Writers. Two of the sources where I find the advice that I post. Another great source is Paris Review. They've got tons of great interviews and quotes from authors. You can get lost there for hours browsing through their archives. It's a rich source of information.

On to the cliff notes . . . 

But first lets play something on the juke box . . . 

Cliff notes on dialogue from John Steinbeck:

"If you are using dialogue -- say it aloud as you write it. Only then will it have the sound of speech."

Cliff notes on truth in writing from Tennessee Willaims:

 "When I write I don't aim to shock people, and I'm surprised when I do. But I don't think that anything that occurs in life should be omitted from art, though the artist should present it in a fashion that is artistic and not ugly. I set out to tell the truth. And sometimes the truth is shocking."

Cliff notes on ethics in writing from Ursula K. Le Guin:

"There's a kind of ethical question when you're writing for kids. YOu have to stand back from the work and say, 'Could this scare an eight-year-old? Could it do any harm?' The editors don't do that for you. With children's literature, the writer has to be in the foreground. There's a cruel streak to Roal Dahl. One of my daughters was very fond of his earlier books. I was very happy when she outgrew him, I have to say. There's something a little gross and a little cruel in his work. Some of the books, like the Goosebumps books, look sort of gross or dumb, but they're harmless, I think kids need a lot of dumb stuff. Roughage in the diet."

Cliff notes on writing a novel from Joe Hill:

(This quote came from Joe's Tumblr page Joe Hill's Thrills. Check it out.)

"The first is to stop thinking about writing a novel that is going to take you two years. That's too overwhelming. Instead, just focus on what you're going to do today, which is write another great scene: a scene that does something unexpected and fun and is going to want to make people read on. Something that explores the characters in a way that's real but surprising. Don't write about someone waking up, unless they're waking up to find a dead body next to them. Don't write about someone making breakfast unless there's a head in the fridge . . . or his wife is going to call halfway through his eggs to leave his drunk and lazy ass for an alligator wrestler and part-time evangelist preacher. That would be a great scene to write and that's all the job comes down to. Your job is to write one great scene . . . and then write another great scene. When you have a whole stack of them, it's a short story, or a novel."

Come back next week and I'll have the rest of the Joe Hill quote for you.

But before you go, post your favorite writing advice in the comments.

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Movie Review: Flight

I have certain actors, writers, and directors whose movies I follow.

Denzel Washington is one of those actors that I follow from movie to movie.

I'm pretty sure I could watch the guy paint a wall, and be touched and entertained by it.

Okay, maybe not, but you get my point.

I'm a little behind on this one, but my wife and I just finished watching Flight. Man, it was a good one. I'm not sure where it falls on my list of favorites for 2012 - maybe I should do a blog on that - but it met my expectations. Not sure if it exceeded them. I'm still letting it marinate in my mind. Whether or not it did may be a blog for another time. I just know I enjoyed the film.

Synopsis

(From IMDB)

An airline pilot saves a flight from crashing, but an investigation into the malfunctions reveals something troubling.

What I Liked

I did something I normally don't do while watching movies. I took notes. Not sure if that will make a difference in the way I write my reviews, but here's a few thoughts I noted.

The technical jargon in the first 15-20 minutes of the movie helped me as a viewer to get into what was about to take place. We all know that there's going to be a crash. The trailer lets you know that's going to happen. But listening to Denzel and bark orders, and communicate with the flight tower, put me on the edge of my seat. It's probably the first movie since Argo to have me so on edge that I was about to fall off the couch. There's an enormity to this situation and people are going to die if Whip doesn't save this flight. I read that Denzel took flight lessons to prepare for this role. It was evident. It seemed I could peak into the cock pit of any flight I was on and see Denzel in the captain's chair. 

Flight is possibly Denzel Washington's best performance since Man On Fire. 

Yeah. I just looked over his IMDB. This is his best role since Fire.

As Whip Whitaker Denzel is all over the map and wears a mask of so many different emotions. He commands the screen. In the captain's chair Whip is confident and at ease, but after the crash he's uncomfortable and awkward. Whip is an addict struggling to get his life together, and overcome his addiction, but fails time and time and time again. Denzel does a fantastic job portraying an addict. He's subtle and frustrating. You want to reach through the screen and slap the bottle from his sand. You want to see him overcome and conquer the alcohol and the drugs, but Whip isn't strong enough to do it.

I can't think of another actor who could embody this character and make this movie work.

There's another actor that steals every scene he's in. John Goodman gets outside his box in Flight, and gives us a performance that is one of his very best. There's a specific scene in particular. It's towards the end of the movie, and Whip has gone on a drinking binge. He needs a pick me up and there's one person who can help him out. This person is Harling. The hotel scene kept me laughing. I'm pretty sure there were a few times that I was leaning over the couch in laughter. It was more the absurdity of the situation than anything. You feel sorry for Whip. The guy is so weak. Props to John Goodman for bringing the laughs. He reminded me of Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski. I'd like to see a crossover film where The Dude's and Harling's paths cross. That'd be a riot.

There was another scene in the beginning of the movie. Whip is in the hospital and he meets Kelly Reilly's - someone else who left it all on screen - character for the first time. They share a smoke in the stairwell of the hospital and come across one outrageous character. The dialogue in this scene is the best of the whole movie. Even Denzel can't outshine James Badge Dale in this scene. What else has this guy been in? Nothing really. Not that I can tell from his IMDB. He's gonna need to be in more movies if he's as good as he was in this scene.

(Ah, he was in 24 and played Chase Edmunds. Knew I knew him from something.)

There were a few things I didn't like about Flight. Lets talk about that.

What I Didn't Like

At the beginning of the movie Nicole is being introduced and she's having an argument with her land lord, Ken. Here you've got a girl from the UK and a guy from New Jersey trying their best to pull off a southern accent, and it was so exaggerated it took me out of the movie. I was born and raised in Georgia, and spent my whole life around southern accents, and I thought this movie was going to slaughter the way I talk. Thankfully they didn't ruin the accent, and Kelly Reilly settled into the southern way of speaking as the movie went on, and I forgot that she was British. Brian Geraghty never got it though. For the short time he was on screen anyway. Boy, he was bad.

There was also a scene in the movie where Whip's co-pilot get insanely religious. For me this was meh. I didn't get the point of it. I understand how a tragic even can cause a person to have a "Damascus Road" experience, but as a viewer I felt like they were mocking Christianity. Maybe that wasn't the director's, or the writer's, intention but that's how it came off. Part of the problem was poor delivery on the part of Conor O'Neil and the actress who played his wife. Do better next time, guys.

The ending falls short of the high bar set by the first act.

Was it satisfactory? Yes.

Was I happy? Yes.

I just didn't feel like there was a full resolution here. Mainly because I didn't believe in the actions taken by Whip. I could never see someone in those same shoes do what he did. If you want to know what he does you'll have to watch the movie for yourself.

Should You See Flight?

Definitely. It's nice to see Robert Zemeckis directing a live-action flick. I loved The Polar Express and A Christmas Carol - two of my favorite Christmas movies - but there's nothing like human actors. And here you've got some people who are delivering some of the best performances of their careers. This goes somewhere on my list of favorite movies for 2012. I'm just not sure where yet. 

Get this movie, folks. You won't be sorry.

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Someone get Bruce Willis on the phone!

Remember that movie?

Yeah, me too.

Is the hit song from that movie stuck in your head right now?

Yeah, it's stuck in mine too.

Over the past couple of days all the talk has been about the meteorite that struck Russia.

Crazy stuff.

I was sitting here browsing at a few of the images that are on Google. Thought I'd share them with you.

Check these things out.

As beautiful as that is it looks like a disaster is about to take place.

Is it a bird? A plane? Superman?

(Yeah, I know. I know. Cheesy.)

This one here is probably my favorite.

 This image makes me think of all the movies where a terrorist attack takes place. I keep thinking I'll find another image where that building is totally destroyed.

I read somewhere that the meteorite weighed 800 tons. That's scary. If that's the actual landing site think of how much damage it could've done if it landed in the middle of NYC. Not that I'm making light of the people that were killed or injured. Just wow.

If any of you guys find images that are better than these please share.

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Still The One

Five years ago today I went on my first date with the lady above. 

I was pretty freakin' nervous, but I didn't let it show.

I kept my poker face.

I met the girl who'd become my wife at Logan's. The steakhouse. She waited on some friends and me. I thought she was the cutest girl I'd seen. For reals. And come to find out she went to the same school I did. I got her name and started stalking her on My Space. That's how long ago this was, folks.

I didn't sit idle. I put action to my online presence - this is sounding creepy, right? - and my brother and I started going to Logan's every single Friday. We'd request Dawn's table and I'd tip about 50% of the bill. She thought I had money. Huh, fooled her. Ha.

This continued until I was able to get her phone number and she went on a date with me. 

We tried two or three times to go out with one another, but the times we picked just didn't work out. We finally got a date picked out, and planned to meet after we got out of class, so nothing interfered. That date turned out to be, as I've already mentioned, February 14th.

I was blissfully ignorant until some classmates decided to point this out. 

This is what went on inside my mind:

Would she think it was a date?

Did she want this to become something serious?

Should I pay?

What would we talk about?

Was Macaroni Grill a nice enough place for a first date?

Oh, God, I suck at dating!

Thankfully, Dawn was one of the easiest girls I'd ever talked to. We were at the restaurant for an hour and a half or so, and talked about so many different things. Our families, what we wanted to do with our lives, and the woes of living in Tulsa. I'd never been good with girls and Dawn made me feel totally at ease. I've told her this, and am not joking when I say it, I knew it then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

About two and a half months later I asked for Dawn's hand in marriage.

Look at the guns on that guy. That ol' dog.

And one year later. BOOM . . . 

We're happily married. 

Come May 23rd Dawn and I will have been married for 4 years.

She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. She makes me excited about life and the future. She makes my dark days the brightest I've ever lived. If I were on this journey without her it would be nowhere near as joyful. I'm sure there are other women out there that could make me happy, but I'm not interested in finding out. Dawn Westmoreland is my better half. There is no woman that could match her in love, beauty, patience, or in humor. She's my soul mate and made specifically for me. After five years she's still the one.

I'll let Orleans do the singing . . .

Dawn, I love you, and look forward to another five . . . ten . . . twenty . . . thirty Valentines Days. 

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Cliff Notes On The Craft: H.P. Lovecraft Edition

This is the third volume of Cliff Notes. 

I hope you guys enjoy this weekly post as much as I do.

This week's Notes are special. I was browsing over on Brain Pickings and, man, did she have a heck of a post. It was a collection of advice that H.P. Lovecraft had given on writing. I can't even tell you how highly I recommend you going over there and checking out the entirety of the post. If you want to do that click this link right here. You won't be sorry. What I'm going to do is give you my favorite quotes from Lovecraft. I'm reading them over and over trying to suck up everything he has to say on the subject on writing. It's valuable stuff. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

But, first, let me give you some music to enjoy.

Cliff notes from Lovecraft on the importance of reading:

“No aspiring author should content himself with a mere acquisition of technical rules. … All attempts at gaining literary polish must begin with judicious reading, and the learner must never cease to hold this phase uppermost. In many cases, the usage of good authors will be found a more effective guide than any amount of precept. A page of Addison or of Irving will teach more of style than a whole manual of rules, whilst a story of Poe’s will impress upon the mind a more vivid notion of powerful and correct description and narration than will ten dry chapters of a bulky textbook.”

Cliff notes from Lovecraft on vocabulary:

“One superlatively important effect of wide reading is the enlargement of vocabulary which always accompanies it. The average student is gravely impeded by the narrow range of words from which he must choose, and he soon discovers that in long compositions he cannot avoid monotony. In reading, the novice should note the varied mode of expression practiced by good authors, and should keep in his mind for future use the many appropriate synonymes he encounters. Never should an unfamiliar word be passed over without elucidation; for with a little conscientious research we may each day add to our conquests in the realm of philology, and become more and more ready for graceful independent expression.

But in enlarging the vocabulary, we must beware lest we misuse our new possessions. We must remember that there are fine distinctions betwixt apparently similar words, and that language must ever be selected with intelligent care.”

Cliff notes from Lovecraft on narration:

“In fictional narration, verisimilitude is absolutely essential. A story must be consistent and must contain no event glaringly removed from the usual order of things, unless that event is the main incident, and is approached with the most careful preparation. In real life, odd and erratic things do occasionally happen; but they are out of place in an ordinary story, since fiction is a sort of idealization of the average. Development should be as lifelike as possible, and a weak, trickling conclusion should be assiduously avoided. The end of a story must be stronger rather than weaker than the beginning; since it is the end which contains the denouement or culmination, and which will leave the strongest impression upon the reader. It would not be amiss for the novice to write the last paragraph of his story first, once a synopsis of the plot has been carefully prepared—as it always should be. In this way he will be able to concentrate his freshest mental vigour upon the most important part of his narrative; and if any changes be later found needful, they can easily be made. In no part of a narrative should a grand or emphatic thought or passage be followed by one of tame or prosaic quality. This is anticlimax, and exposes a writer to much ridicule.”

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