The Year I Graduated From Hogwarts

Okay, the last few days have been really off for me. Usually as soon as I leave the theater, and get home, I sit down to review the movie that I saw. Sunday afternoon I wanted to wait so I could include something in the blog I'm very excited about. I'll get to that in a bit. Yesterday what I wanted to share was online, but I just didn't feel like taking the time to blog. Today I had no motivation. It was one of the most pathetic points in my life. My mornings usually work like this: I take an hour and a half to two hours and work on my novel. I'm currently in the outlining stage. I hate outlining. If I can find an excuse to get out of it. I will. After I work on my novel I take two hours for reading. I'm currently reading George R.R. Martin's "A Dance With Dragons." It's been stellar. Every word this morning seemed dead to me, and I didn't bother reading. I ended up spending my morning in a semi-comatose state starting at Facebook. I'm shamed to admit it. Now, I"m forcing myself to review Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Before I get to the review I must confess a sin, dear reader . . .

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I have never read the Harry Potter series. I know. It's terrible. I champion myself as an avid fantasy reader and I've never read the most well known fantasy series of the last decade. I'll get to it eventually. I've obviously seen all the movies, and have enjoyed every single one of them. Up until Sunday my favorite movie of the series was Prisoner of Azkaban. There's no single reason that PoA was my favorite. I just remember being enamored with enjoyment throughout the whole movie. After having seen Deathly Hallows part 2 I must say that it is the best movie of the series. Without argument.

There's a few reasons that this movie is the best.

David Yates did a phenomenal job directing this movie. Mr. Yates has directed the last four Harry Potter movies. This is the best of his work. Having never read the book I can say whether or not he caught the essence of the book, but it felt like it. There was a sense of finality from the beginning. That was important. This film series has been going on for over a decade now, and having that sense of closure was important to me.

From the moment the film began I felt caught up in an epic scheme. I mean, we have arrived at the moment we've been waiting seven movies for. The battle of Harry Potter and Voldemort. Ah, the battle scenes were fantastic. A good portion of the movie was the battle of wizards good and evil. I wanted to grab up a wand, get down in a fox hole with the student, and shoot fire balls at bad guys. The special effects for this movie were on point. I felt as if I were in the midst of a war zone and may need to seek out coverage. Without this epic feel this movie would have crashed and burned.

I think Daniel Radcliffe deserves standing ovations all around. The kid has carried a franchise since he was eleven years old. That's a lot of responsibility. I don't even remember what I was doing at eleven. I was probably gaming it up on Super Nintendo. I sure as hell wouldn't have been starring in any movies. Radcliffe is Harry Potter. Not only that but he's a fine actor. I hope he isn't type cast the rest of his career, or denied parts because he's the world's most famous wizard. Personally I think he would be perfect for a John Lennon biopic. The rest of the cast deserves props as well. Rupert Grint and Emma Watson have been in these shoes as long as Radcliffe, and it's been fun watching them grow and mature on screen. I'll be first in line to see any movie this trio make.

Ya know, while I was sitting in the theater I kept thinking to myself, There's no way I can review this movie and do it the justice it deserves. When it all comes down to it you need to see it for yourself. Honestly, Harry Potter is a series that needs to be watched by one and all. There's a great message behind it, and I think Stephen King summed it up better than anyone.

Harry Potter is about doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.

I love how he nonchalantly insults the Twilight series all while making a beautiful observation about Potter. But it's true. Today's entertainment is filled with characters of gray. The black and white battle of good and evil is slowly becoming a thing of the past. There are no clear cut heroes nowadays. The antihero is king of the hill. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Things aren't as black and white as they use to be. Slowly everything is fading to gray. It's nice to have a story about a kid, a hero, who stands for what is right, and will stand in the face of evil and do what is right. No matter what the consequences are. Even if it costs him his life.

See Harry Potter! It'll be worth your money.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows has dethroned Super 8 to reign as my favorite movie of the Summer.

This weekend my wife and I will be seeing Captain America. I'm pretty excited.

Remember when I referred do something I wanted to talk about. I didn't forget. I hope you didn't either. Another reason you need to see the Harry Potter movie is because the first trailer for The Dark Knight Rises premiered along with it. This is the final Batman movie of Christopher Nolan's trilogy. Christopher Nolan is one of my favorite directors, and his take on Batman is the definitive film series of The Dark Knight. Since the trailer went online I've watched it about six times. I'm obsessive like that. I wanted to share it here on the blog. It's a great teaser. Your fed mysterious information and you get a short glimpse of Bane. Tom Hardy has transformed himself and turned into a monster. This movie is going to be epic. I. CANNOT. WAIT.

Here's the trailer:

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"Oh, You're One of Those"

Yesterday was a big day for the fantasy world. George Rex Rufus Martin's fifth installment of his series A Song of Ice and Fire hit bookstore shelves. If you're not familiar with the series by name you've probably heard of HBO's new series Game of Thrones, which is based on the series of books, and took it's name from the first novel in the series. We, in the fantasy world, have been waiting on A Dance With Dragons for six years. It's been eleven years since we've read from the perspective of Jon Snow, Tyrion Lannister, and Daenerys Targaryen. Outside of the fantasy genre you don't have authors that write stories in a series. Fans of other genres can't understand or really sympathize with fantasy fans. Authors of other genres most often write stand alone novels, and sometimes write stories focused on characters from another book. The only writer I can think of who's written a sprawling series, and has taken years between books is Stephen King. Between certain books of The Dark Tower series there were six year gaps. Waiting that long to continue the journey with characters you've been relationship with creates anticipation and excitement. It can also be frustrating and saddening at times. The best you can do is re-read the previous novels. The worst you can do is lose hope in the writer, and quit reading the series altogether.

If you've never read George R.R. Martin you have neglected one of the most brilliant writers of our time. Notice that I did not say one of the most brilliant fantasy writers of our time. G.R.R Martin is such a fantastic writer that the New York Times dubbed him many years ago, "The American Tolkien." Personally, I've never been a big fan of Tolkien. Tolkien was an awesome world-builder, wrote beautiful prose, but told boring stories. Now, not everyone feels that way. That's just me talking. The Hobbit is one of my favorite books. It's one of the first fantasy novels I ever read. I have re-read it at least three times. One day when I have children I plan for it to be one of the first books I ever read to them. However, I read The Lord of the Rings trilogy once and vowed to never read it again. It weren't my cup o' tea. Coming back to my point. To only dub Martin as "The American Tolkien" is an injustice:

First, A Song of Ice and Fire and The Lord of the Rings are two different beasts. LOTR is a traditional hero's journey, and probably the prime example of such. Ice and Fire is a complicated story, the world of Westeros is much more brutal than Middle-Earth, it includes thousands of characters, and the most shocking plot twists ever written on the page.

Second, Martin and Tolkien are two different writers, from two different time periods, telling very different stories. As I said, Tolkien was a great world builder but wasn't the best story-teller. Martin has built an interesting world and is telling an engrossing story. Not only is Martin a great story-teller but he's a wonderful writer. I love his prose, his description, his language, and dialogue. He's the best example of fantasy done right.

This brings me to the point of my post. It bothers me that so many people, from the general public to the literary snobs, are so willing to turn their nose to the Science Fiction and Fantasy genre. Now, the general public is much more accepting of the SF&F genre. Literary snobs looks upon it with disdain. The New York Times said this about Martin:

Martin will never win a Pulitzer or a National Book Award, but his skill as a crafter of narrative exceeds that of almost any literary novelist writing today. Throughout the book I was reminded of Jennifer Egan's A Visit from the Goon Squad (which did win a Pulitzer), as well as Anthony Powell's (similarly floridly titled) A Dance to the Music of Time. But even Powell can't twist a plot like Martin. A Dance with Dragons is a big book, topping out at 1,016 pages, but it turns on a dime. Reading a novel is a little like commanding a battle: you're always reconnoitering, trying to guess where the author will go next, what's a feint and where the action is really heading. I don't know when I have ever been as comprehensively and pleasurably outgeneraled as I am when I read Martin. He raises and raises the stakes, long past when any other writer would have walked away from the table, and just when you think he's done, he goes all in. There is, apparently, no piece he will not sacrifice, no character that you (and one suspects, he) love so much that he will not orchestrate that character's doom.

If there's any fantasy novel that would be worthy of the Pulitzer it would be A Game of Thrones or even A Storm of Swords. G.R.R Martin has never said that he wrote the first novel to be reflective of our political landscape. He wrote the book all through the early 90's and A Game of Thrones was released in 1996, the book was written many years before much of what has happened in our government recently, but the situations of the book are so applicable. Of course, A Game of Thrones is loosely based around The War of the Roses.

The sad thing is this: George Martin will never be considered for a Pulitzer Prize or a National Book Award because of the genre he writes in.

Everyone where I work pretty much know that I write, and am aspiring to be a published author. I recently had a conversation with a co-worker that went something like this:

"What kind of novel are you writing?"

"A fantasy."

"Are there people?"

"Yes, but in a fantasy world. On a different planet."

"Oh . . . you're one of those."

With those words my co-worker turned and walked away. I've never really taken any flack for wanting to become a published author. I do, however, get made fun of a good deal for being an avid fantasy reader. It doesn't really bother me. Most people make their comments in good humor, and I can always remind them that geeks rule the world. Other people aren't so good natured. It's something that every fantasy fan and author has to deal with. You can be considered literary because you're not telling stories with that aren't taking place in the "real world," or fantasy authors are good story-tellers but not good writers. The latter comment really irks the shit out of me.

Reading George Martin's writing amazes me how true to life his characters behave. One of the frustrating things about the fantasy genre is that your heroes are honorable and good and the villains are evil and despicable. Basically the world's are black and white and most fantasy was written as such until Martin came along. Westeros is a world of gray. There is no black and white and no character is truly honorable. Eddard Stark does his best to remain honorable in all his decisions, but even his honor causes him to make mistakes. Martin's characters are selfish and they look out for their own tail's. They all want to sit upon, or have a piece of, the Iron Thrones. Whatever it takes to claim that seat let all others be damned. If Martin's story didn't take place in an imaginative world, have occurrences of magic, and allow the existence of fantastic creatures he'd probably be classified as Historical Thriller. His story is that true to life.

One of the worst blanket statements applied to fantasy writers/authors is that they're bad writers. When people make this statement I want to ask them if they've ever read China Mieville, Patrick Rothfuss, Neil Gaiman, or Ursula K. Le Guin (for God's sake!). They haven't and they can continue to make their blanket statement because you'll never see a fantasy writer's name included in a list with: Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, John Steinbeck, Leo Tolstoy, James Joyce, et cetera et cetera. The thing is that some of the best writing I've ever read was written by fantasy writers. Of course I'm biased, but until you read Ursula K. Le Guin you can take your blanket statements and burn them. The lady is scary brilliant and writes words so tasty you want to lick them off of the page.

A Song of Ice and Fire is said to be the fantasy series for people who hate fantasy. I have a friend who wouldn't read any of the fantasy novels I recommended to him. Then one day I pressured him into reading A Game of Thrones. He checked it out and read it at break neck speed. As soon as he finished Thrones he moved on to A Clash of Kings. One day I asked him if Martin changed his opinion about fantasy and he told me while reading these books he was reminded of why he loved fantasy so much as a kid, and if I could recommend fantasy writers as good as Martin he'd be a lifetime fantasy reader. It's a good thing I've spend the better part of 26 years reading nothing but fantasy. Ha!

There are great fantasy writers out there. There are fantasy writers who stand toe to toe with the literary greats. There are fantasy writers who behead the literary greats with the ink of their pen. Will the Science Fiction and Fantasy genre ever have the respect of the literary snobs? No, but it doesn't really matter. I don't think the literary snobs respect a whole lot besides the writers they run in circles with (sniffing one another's butts). The most profitable writer in history is a fantasy writer. Of your Top 25 all time domesting grossing movies 22 of them are either Science Fiction or Fantasy movies. Money's not everything. Check out any Hugo or Nebula award winning Science Fiction and Fantasy author and you will find some of the best writing you've been exposed to.

ADDENDUM: Until you've read Gene Wolfe (!!!) you cannot make the statement that Science Fiction and Fantasy authors are not great writers. Michael Swanwick said of Gene Wolfe, "But among living writers, there is nobody who can even approach Gene Wolfe for brilliance of prose, clarity of thought, and depth in meaning." There is no one as skillful with the unreliable narrator as Gene Wolfe. He must be read.

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The Terrible Tragedy That is Transformers Three

It was insanely difficult to find a movie poster for this review. Either it's a sign that I should not be posting what is going to be a hate filled slur towards Michael Bay -- okay, I'm am somewhat exaggerating -- or, this was a sign that this movie should never have existed. At least not with Michael Bay behind the camera. Of the 15 movies the guy has directed I've slightly enjoyed two of them: The first Transformers and The Rock.

Preface: My History With Transformers . . .

I have none.

As a kid growing up in Toccoa, Georgia I had no love for Transformers. I don't remember ever having Tonka toys. If I did I can't recall any significant memories about them. I never remember having any Transformers toys. Even as a kid I can recall having memories that vehicle toys were pointless. I mean all the frakkin things did was roll around. There's not a lot of imagination that you can put into that. I had a slew of He-Man, Ghostbusters, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toys. Man, those toys created for some good times. I even remember having some BraveStarr toys. The sad things is that I haven't met anyone that remembers BraveStarr. I'm pretty sure that cartoon created my love for the western genre.

Going into Transformer movies I have no inherent love for the franchise. There's nothing special about it to me. Therefore, it doesn't pain me to say that I haven't loved any of the movies.

The first Transformers movie was decent.

The second Transformers movie was  a disaster.

The third Transformers movie was overly long and had so many pointless moments I wanted to spit my Coke at the screen. I don't make such statements lightly. I love Coca-Cola.

The Review: The Terrible Tragedy That is Transformers Three . . .

Now, the movie wasn't completely terrible. Shia LaBeouf is an actor who has potential. I think he can really turn into something someday. I'm not sure if he'll become great. But I enjoy him in what I watch. My problem with the guy is he plays the same type of character in every movie. I would love to see him take on a movie that would challenge his abilities. The good thing about the Transformers movies is that they've given him a name, and he can take risks with the films he chooses. Leonardo DiCaprio did that after Titanic. I think he's benefited from that. Not sure if Shia will take the same path.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was nice to look at. It bothered me that in her posing shots she wore stilettos, but during the action scenes she wore flats. I hate flats. They make a woman look so frumpy. I love heels. Sexxxxy! Another thing that bothered me is that through all the disaster she went through she came out without scratch, without bruise, unscathed, and sexy as hell. Give. Me. A. Break. This blame I place at the feet of Michael Bay. He doesn't know how to make a believable movie. All he knows how to do is make a film look pretty. Bright lights. Big explosions. Action shots with quick cut aways are his specialty. In every film he's made he has a hot babe that remains hot not matter what. I like it when my heroines get dirt under a nails. Women get sexier the dirtier they get. Evangeline Lily from Lost was sexiest when she was covered in mud and dirt. Rosie walking out of collapsed buildings unscathed made me shake my head.

The plot of the movie was pointless as were every human actor. The only point of this movie was to have as many poses of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, have Shia LeBeouf scream like a banshee, actions scene where stuff gets blown up, and Autobots and Decepticons battle to the death.

Transformers length was absurd. My wife and I went into the movie at 7:50 PM. We didn't get out of the movie until near 11 o'clock. Michael Bay needs to learn that if your movie is going to exceed two hours you better have a damn good reason. He did not. I wanted to pound my head on the seat in front of me. Arrrrrrgggggghhhhh!!!

The most terrible thing about Transformers was Michael Bay. He doesn't know how to make a movie. He knows how to make music videos. That's what the guy did before he got into making pictures. His method of movie making is to make a two hour music video. If I wanted to watch a music video I'd sit down and turn the t.v. to MTV. Oh wait, they don't even show music videos anymore.

This movie isn't worth your time. If you want to watch a Shia LeBeouf movie watch something else. If you want to see it for Rosie Huntington-Whiteley go to Google images instead.Your time can be better spent.

Grade: D-

Next week, if I can talk my wife into it, we may go see Horrible Bosses.

The rest of July is going to be a good month. Three straight weeks I'll have my butt in theater seats at my local Cinemark. July 15th is the final Harry Potter movie, July 22nd is Captain America: The First Avenger, and July 29th is Cowboys and Aliens (the second movie I'm most excited about this Summer).

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