Words for Writers: Dialog Exercises

I enjoy a podcast called Writing Excuses. Week to week Brandon Sanderson, Howard Tayler, and Dan Wells offer valuable tips on the craft of writing. Each writer is proven and has seen success with each of their work. Brandon Sanderson is a New York Times best selling fantasy writer. After Robert Jordan passed away Jordan's widow Harriet asked Mr. Sanderson to complete "The Wheel of Time" series. Dan Wells is the author of the YA horror series about sociopath John Clever. I've read the first installment of the trilogy "I Am Not A Serial Killer." Very well written with an unexpected twist. Lastly, Howard Tayler writes one of the most successful webcomics "Schlock Mercenary." Tayler also holds the honor of Schlock being the longest running webcomic. Schlock Mercenary has been running for more than a decade.

Recently the Writing Excuses team commission listeners to do dialog exercises. Since the focus was dialog only there were a few rules: No tags and no narration. Since those two things were taken away the dialog had to communicate: distinctive characters, setting, and conflict. After readers sent in their submissions Brandon, Howard, and Dan critiqued the entries over the 'cast. I didn't actually do the exercise until five minutes ago. Since I haven't submitted my dialog to the Writing Excuse guys I'd figure I'd post it here for fun.

If you'd like to offer your thoughts about my work feel free.

If you're a writer I encourage you to do these kinds of things to sharpen your skills.

If you'd like to check out the podcast you can listen to first episode HERE and the second episode HERE. Don't worry about a lot of you're time being taken. The episodes are twenty minutes are less. 

Without further ado my story through dialog is below . . .

***

It's gone.

What? What d'ya mean it's gone?

I mean, it's not here.

Where'd it go?

I don't know. We wasn't here.

I know we wasn't here, but wasn't anybody else either.

As far as we know.

Don't say that.

Why?

Just don't.

But we weren't. Hey, what are you doing? Don't do that.

It's gotta be here somewhere.

Well, put that down. That staff is 3000 years old.

I gotta find it.

The emerald is gone, but don't cause more problems.

Master Jonana is going to be furious.

Yeah, but don't make it worse. Put the staff down.

Oh my Gods!

I told you to put the staff down.

I, uh, I didn't think. The magic only works for the pure bloods.

Look we gotta get.

We can't.

And be beheaded?

Gods! Gods!

Let's go. Now!

We can't. No.

The emerald's gone. You just put a gaping hole in Jonana's study. Let's get.

This is all your fault.

Mine! How d'ya mean?

This would'a never happen if you hadn't of put those ideas in my head.

Ideas? What ideas?

I'm leaving. Going.

That's what I've been saying. Let's go.

No, not with you.

Hey, whatever. Let's get.

You're not going either.

What? Hey! Hey! Put that staff away. Look what you already did.

Anxis, I'm sorry.

Dorie, no!